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someone once told me that being a mom was the loneliest job in the world.
even if there are always little people jumping on you,
even when they are shooting smile arrows into your heart
or crying for your arms to make them feel safe,
it is lonely.
truthfully, nothing can prepare you for the endless questions of:
should i really care if so and so is mad at me?
or am i just wasting time on things that take me away from those smiley darts and cuddle hugs?
did i pack them diapers for the sitters?
where is my ipod?
random reflections on a life that has taken over my agency.
sometimes i feel like i’ve jumped into the wonderland..
tunnels of time warp running me through to other places and other beings.
as if i just disappeared from my past life
i can see into a one-way mirror to find out whats been going on.
there have been less calls.
not very many check up with me anymore.
the invitations are getting fewer and farther between.
and reality has begun to resonate
but through manufactured examples in magazines
or, other peoples lives that i’m not really a part of.
